Self-induced Nightmare
I am dying to wake up from the nightmare this semester has been. I know I have been saying this for the nth time already, in my entire stay in UP, but I really swear this sem has been the worst by far.
Academically, I have been in my most delinquent mode. I never imagined that I would drop not one, not two, but three subjects (one PE) in one sem. But I just did. Beat that! My mother will disown me if she finds out about this. At the least, she will nag at me until my ears bleed and I faint from the guilt. I am so, so disappointed with myself. I have rid myself of the chance to graduate with honors. Tears. As if dropping three subjects is not enough, I think I will have my first ever 5.00 this sem. Give it to me, baby!
What is happening to me? Why did I lose the drive to study hard, to be OC, and to be GC? Is it because I have grown tired of proving my worth and myself? But I have proven nothing yet. Maybe I should see a doctor, my laziness is getting the best of me, much to my damage, like leprosy gradually eating me up. Or is this karma? Laugh all you want, laugh your heart out. Laugh until you’ve burned so many calories I’ll stop laughing at all the weight you’ve gained this past few months. I deserve that.
I would be more than pleased to end this sem already. Shame on me if I wouldn’t make the best out of the new, clean slate given me after this. Summer classes will see the new, improved, and bionic me. KKK: keser kung keser! Promises? What else can I give myself and the people that matter to me?
I keep waking up only to discover that I brought myself in another nightmare. I cannot keep waking up all my life.
I am dying to wake up from the nightmare this semester has been. I know I have been saying this for the nth time already, in my entire stay in UP, but I really swear this sem has been the worst by far.
Academically, I have been in my most delinquent mode. I never imagined that I would drop not one, not two, but three subjects (one PE) in one sem. But I just did. Beat that! My mother will disown me if she finds out about this. At the least, she will nag at me until my ears bleed and I faint from the guilt. I am so, so disappointed with myself. I have rid myself of the chance to graduate with honors. Tears. As if dropping three subjects is not enough, I think I will have my first ever 5.00 this sem. Give it to me, baby!
What is happening to me? Why did I lose the drive to study hard, to be OC, and to be GC? Is it because I have grown tired of proving my worth and myself? But I have proven nothing yet. Maybe I should see a doctor, my laziness is getting the best of me, much to my damage, like leprosy gradually eating me up. Or is this karma? Laugh all you want, laugh your heart out. Laugh until you’ve burned so many calories I’ll stop laughing at all the weight you’ve gained this past few months. I deserve that.
I would be more than pleased to end this sem already. Shame on me if I wouldn’t make the best out of the new, clean slate given me after this. Summer classes will see the new, improved, and bionic me. KKK: keser kung keser! Promises? What else can I give myself and the people that matter to me?
I keep waking up only to discover that I brought myself in another nightmare. I cannot keep waking up all my life.
4 comments:
feeling the same... naku, it's as though i've lost na my self-respect that my body can't obey what my mind commands... antamad ko talaga,... yes, so far ako din, this is the worst sem, my first ever sem to drop a subject. not because of the difficulty level but because of myself talaga... reas mo yung old posts ko, tungkol dun yun
feeling the same... naku, it's as though i've lost na my self-respect that my body can't obey what my mind commands... antamad ko talaga,... yes, so far ako din, this is the worst sem, my first ever sem to drop a subject. not because of the difficulty level but because of myself talaga... reas mo yung old posts ko, tungkol dun yun
i was starting to fear that I was the only one feeling this way.
yes, the next sem looks brighter than this one for a single reason: tabularasa. blank slate, as you say it. ^____^ a new chance to get things straight. :D
hi aji! yes, i've read your 99.2 post.
hi vigile! you are not alone. hehe.
i finally accepted that i have only myself to blame. now i'm reaping what i've sown. hay.
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