A Heart-warming Fable

Here's another one.

The Really Ugly Duckling
by Jon Sciezka from The Sticky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Once upon a time there was a mother duck and a father duck who had seven baby ducklings. Six of them were regular-looking ducklings. The seventh was a really ugly duckling. Everyone used to say, "What a nice-looking bunch of ducklings-- all except that one. Boy, He's really ugly." The really ugly duckling heard these people, but he didn't care. He knew that one day he would probably grow up to be a swan and be bigger and look better than anything in the pond.

Well, as it turned out, he was just a really ugly duckling. And he grew up to be just a really ugly duck. The End.

Are You Joking My Leg?

Something I dug up from my baul, from my English 1 class kit. Sigh. It always gives me a hard laugh. :)

NoYpiTZ sayings mga rePapipz
from Ed Geronia

"The more the manyer."
"It's a no-win-win situation."
"Burn the bridge when you get there."
"Anulled and void."
"Mute and academic."
"C'mon let's join us!"
"If worse comes to shove."
"Are you joking my leg?"
"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
Melanie Marquez ang dating...
"What are friends are for?"
"You can never can tell."
"Well well well. Look do we have here!"
"Let's give them a big hand of applause."
"Been there, been that."
"Forget it about it."
"Give him the benefit of the daw."
"It's a blessing in the sky."
"Right there and right then."
"Where'd you came from?"
"Take things first at a time."
"You're barking at the wrong dog."
"You want to have your cake and bake it too."
"First and for all."
"Now and there."
"I'm only human nature."
"The sky's the langit."
"That's what I'm talking about it."
"One of these days is not like the other."
"So far, so good, so far."
"Time is of the elements."
"In the wink of an eye."
"The feeling is actual."
"For all intense and purposes."
"I ran into some errands."
"Hi. I'm (your name), what's yours?"
"What is the world is coming to?"
"What is the next that is?"
"Get the most of both worlds."
"Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila."
"Whatever you say so."
"Base-to-base casis."
"My answers have been prayered."
"Please me alone!"
"It's as brand as new."
"So... what's a beautiful girl like you?..."
"I can't take it anymore of this!"
"Are you sure ka na ba?"
"Can't you just cut me some slacks?"

Catching Up

Just came from Shane's sister Kay's birthday dinner party. Gian, Lyn, and Sam were also there. They were my friends since high school and the last time we were together was on the Christmas vacation of 2004. The rest of the gang, as usual, didn't show up. Excuses, excuses, and more excuses.

The party started at 7Pm but I came around 8:30PM. They all finished eating then. Gian already wanted to go home. He was already tired and sleepy since he got there around 6PM straight from his internship in Makati. He, Lyn, and Sam let me finish my first cheesecake slice before they all went ahead. If it weren't for Gian's bitching the two of them stayed behind.

At first, I rather hesitated to attend the party because I already would have been late. But aside from not seeing Shane and the rest for so long, I missed and craved for the cheesecake Shane's mom regularly bakes. It was Mocha cheesecake this time, and if there was something on Earth better than sex, this was it. I swear! If only I could defy the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility.

So Shane and I chatted the rest of the time, catching up on each other's lives. She said her father asks her to take extra accounting or finance units after she finishes her BM degree in DLSU. Apparently, her father wants her to take the CPA or CFA boards. "Are you sure? If it doesn't make you happy, don't, even if it means going against your father's will. Trust me." BI? Haha. Am I not right?

I also told her to secure a job right away after she graduates, so that she would have an excuse just in case her father will insist. Just about the same advice, I gave Jazel. Haha.

As for me, I still don't know. I still have no definite plans. Beyond graduation, the future is a hazy picture. Taking (and passing) the UP LAE crosses my mind now and then. Just because I became curious after Jazel and Chris passed and I wonder if I will, too. Just because I messed things up and my grades suck and I want to start anew. Just because I want to prove my intelligence.

Yes, I have insecurities. Other people's self-esteem depends on their appearances, on their wealth, on their morality, or whatever. Mine depends on my intelligence. Image may not be everything, but I suppose it not just is nothing as well.

Eek. I think I've shared more than I should have. Probably, one day I will regret posting this. Oh well, this is my blog. (So what?)

Fag-Hag Finale

Take the last bow, Fags and Hags.

Enter stage, Desperate Housewives.

Sunken Stars

The heat of summer sunshine just makes me want to sing In the heat of summer sunshine I miss you like nobody else... I guess it makes sense. I'm missing a lot of people who either most of which just graduated or aren't taking summer classes. ** sucks. :(

Anyway, 11AM I was just dismissed from my Soc Sci 2 class. As I was walking down the AS steps, a guy in sporty attire with a top in pastel blue, from across the street caught my eye. It was Gabby Eiganmann (sp?). "So what? It's just him. Act nonchalantly."

So, I crossed the street then walked past him. My pace was normal. He was following about 3 meters behind me. By the beads of sweat covering his forehead and temples, I could tell he was too tired to run.

I was in front of Psych when this tall, brawny guy, also in sporty attire, appeared from my left side. His bandana and dark shades did not stop me from recognizing him. Ding dong. Dingdong Dantes.

I acted coolly but deep inside I wanted to scream like a high school girl. Haha. From there Dingdong called Gabby and they continued jogging, leaving me behind.

So there. What's with star sightings and me lately? It's in my stars, perhaps. Haha.

Met up Jazel at Jollibee, Katips. We ate gossip for dinner. We thrive on it.

Summer Classes

Summer's fine so far. Nostalgic if I may say so. It's Schoolyear 2003-2004 all over again for me. Before CBA and definitely before CE.

A 7AM class. PE 2. A GE subject. GE friends. Kate. Long walks. Walking alone. Walking around, beside, or on the Sunken. Eating lunch in Narra. Sleeping before my 1PM class. The Main Lib. Borrowing books from the Filipiniana.

Sigh.

Anyway, last Tuesday Kate and I went to Gateway. You say Rent, I say D' Lucky Ones. Yes, we watched D' Lucky Ones in Gateway. Don't ask.

I wanted to borrow The Twisted Menace: Book Four from the Filipiniana but until now, the only copy they have is not returned yet. Ugh. I've been trying to get my hands on that book since my freshie year. I ended up with The Pinoy Elections: a Guide to the Dismayado and finished it in less than an hour.

Finally I'm starting (continuing, if you would count my attempt in high school) my self-study of Japanese. I borrowed A Guide to Learning Hiragana and Katakana from the Asian Center Library.

Japanese. Utada Hikaru is Japanese. She is coming up with her fourth Japanese album. Can't wait for that!


(album art)

Album
ULTRA BLUE

Released
2006.06.14

Tracklist
01. This Is Love
02. Keep Tryin'
03. BLUE
04. Nichiyou no Asa (日曜の朝)
05. Making Love
06. Dareka no Negai ga Kanau Koro (誰かの願いが叶うころ)
07. COLORS
08. One Night Magic feat. Yamada Masashi
09. Kaiji (海路)
10. WINGS
11. Be My Last
12. Eclipse (Interlude)
13. Passion

UPCE on Wiki

I was browsing the English Wikipedia last night, searching for atricles that would pop in my head. I read the University of the Philippines article. From the internal link there I jumped to UP Diliman. To my delight (I squeaked out of excitement), UPCE was one among the listed (less than twenty) in the Organizations, Fraternities, Sororities portion.

Right away I told Jay about A, er, it but by his reply I knew he was already aware. I'm guessing he was the one who added UPCE in the article. You see, anyone, even a non-Wiki member, can edit Wiki content.

UPCE had an internal link in the UP Diliman entry but when I checked it, the page was empty. With the boost of Jay's prodding, I edited the empty page. Nothing big. I just copied the Org Profile from upce.org and revised it a bit.

So now, we officially have an unofficial entry on Wiki. Made by moi. Haha. You can visit it here and do your share of supplementing if you want.

Congrats, Jazelli and Krisopper

Yay! You passed the interview and are now qualified for admission in the UP College of Law. Wait, is that a good thing with all the hell that law students go through? I suppose not. But just think of it as a preview of the ultimate destination of most lawyers, hell itself. Haha. Still, yay for both of you!

Krisopper, I know you've been praying for this and now you have it. Ditch the legalese and gobbledygook. Dazzle them with Happy English!

Jazelli. Nyahaha! >:) Tell your parents. If you don't, I will. Seriously, I hope you conscientiously consider this opportunity. After doing so and you still want to bum around slash live off your parents money, then treat me to a buffet dinner. May ganyon?! Haha.

Writings on a Narra Bathroom Cubicle Wall

SAYONARA, YUKI

I felt so sad you returned the jacket and keychain I gave you. And the letter inside slapped me like strong wind on mid-April.

I couldn't fight the tears of regret for the lost time. Everything appeared late I have only to console myself with what-could-have-beens. Too bad you're already gone.

I tried calling you at 12 but you left an hour ago-- I was downtrodden. You'd be home by then while I am still nursing a wounded soul.

At least I could have told you to take care. At least we could have parted as friends. I would have told you how much you changed my life. Sana nasabihan man lang kita ng "PAALAM." I hope we find love that we deserve. Thank you for the 2-week joy you gave me.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Camera-shy

“Ohmigod! Did Carmina Villaruel just look me in the eye and smile at me?” Yes, she did. I’m not kidding! I saw her twice yesterday at Kate’s dorm. They were shooting something for her show in Q 11. When she was interviewing one dormer, she pointed at and referred to Kate and me, mistaking us for you know what: sisters. Joke. That’s when Kate and I threw her and her crew dumbfounded faces and strode out of the scene before the camera could take a shot of us. Now we are wishing we didn’t. That was our opportunity to be seen on national television. Haha.

Circus Cinema

Just when I (half-)expected things would turn out for the better, they could actually get nastier.

Hmm. Interesting.

I won't leave the movie house until I get sick and tired of all the petty drama and I go puking all over the place and on every one's faces.

Care for a corn on the cob? While you're at it, how about a metal plate?

Will somebody, please, pass me the popcorn.

Distracted

Why is it that every time I cram finishing something, another thing totally unrelated and less important turns up to which I shift my attention, time, and effort? I complain of boredom often, and when distraction comes, it comes in the wrong time.

Summer classes start later and my first one is at 7AM. By now, all my things should have been packed and I should be sleeping. However, that is not the case. Here I am as if I have all the time in the world to type an entry. So here's what happened.

I asked Jay why the site feed of my blog fails to load. He pointed out that some of my posts have erroneous codes and those cause the problem. With his help, I tried fixing the errors when I should have continued my packing because I wasn’t even halfway arranging and stuffing my clothes, etc. into the gym bag.

I edited the posts with errors and deleted two (“Excuse My Korean” and “Up Dharma Down”) that I couldn’t repair. I will re-post them when I have the time. I also changed a setting so that my blog page now displays my entries from beginning to end. This will only be temporary until I figure out and tweak the root of my site feed trouble.

Waah! I guess I won’t be sleeping anymore. Tears.

Avatar

Behold the product of my boredom.

Moi, Ivanilla.

Lesvita. Snorts Milo just for kicks.

Ngot. Bingot. Asungot. Bangungot. Busangot. Kulangot.

Paul. Ngotty's son with whom she's having an incestuous affair.

Bow. (/_~)

Light

Whee! I'm feeling so giddy (giddy perky, not giddy dizzy) and I'm loving it! Maybe it's the good sleep I just had or the unusually cool weather this summer night. I hope this lasts.

So there. Haha. ;P

Public

"Kung di ba naman siya tanga e."

"She's that stupid?"

"Nothing beats stupidity."

Must-haves

Oxygen Tank and Nebulizer


Can't breath? (Can't breathe?) Wanna paint? (Wanna faint?)

Duct Tape

For the humongous mouth.
For the plastic bag with which one covers his head and the opening of which one seals around his neck.

Toilet Duck

Clingy?
Stubborn?
Annihilate the mold and mildew you.

Metal Plate

Because there are body parts you just can't see much more protect.

Corn on the Cob

Be resourceful like the Sleepwalkers villain.

Wala Lang

I’m posting this for the sake of updating. May my boredom and pettiness fill the hollowness inside you, my avid readers. Then fill mine.

Monday. Went to school to enroll for summer classes. The 114.2 grades were out that day so I took a look (took, look. Haha.) To the nine who did not survive, my heart goes to you. Haha. Don’t you wish you were kicked out as early as 114.1? Two sem’s worth of sleeping in the middle of attempting to digest the gobbledygook of IFRS gone to waste. See you in BA 115.

Virge requested Lubert and Levs to represent CE in the ocular of the UP Theater for the CBA graduation. I tagged along. They ordered us to count the total number of seats, then some instructions, etc. As Ma’am Talavera and Sir Manuel discussed the seating plan, it hit me that I will never be one of those who will sit in the first front rows. Sad.

Wasn’t able to enlist for PI 100 or any other subject because of the priority for tri-coll and graduating students. No problem, I was too lazy anyway.

Jazel and I went to Jollibee, Katips. She had her late lunch; I, my Coffee Jelly Special fix. Sam Milby’s face was on one of the posters. Don’t you think his image fits McDo better? And Manny Pacquiao’s, Jollibee? Just a thought.

Met up Dia in her dorm beside which the new Ken Afford stands. Then we headed straight to Jay’s place. Hi, to Jay, Dona, Harvey, Tam Tam, and Won Won! Thanks so, so, so much for letting us stay over! :D

Tuesday. Slept around 3AM, woke up around 8AM to Jay’s suspicious, whispery voice. He left Dia and me early for his interview with BPI. By noon, Dia and I were about to leave when Jay called to check if we were still there. So we waited for him while watching The Secret of David Gale on HBO. It freaked me out the same way the Hello Kitty Murder (look it up) did. Imagine Happy Tree Friends less the pastel colors and cuteness. Gruesome.

Jay came and we ate, guess where. Jollibee, Philcoa. One-piece Chickenjoy Meal and Coffee Jelly Special. We took embarrassing pictures of ourselves in the tenga-tuhod pose; checking first if nobody around was looking. We were squinting the moment we got out of there. The heat, oh the heat, I could not stand it!

Was not able again to enlist for any subject since there were no more slots. I just took down the section schedules to aid in my prerog-ing. Then I paid my tuition and made reservation in Narra. Then I went home to Pampanga. Sigh.

Wednesday. I started downloading Breakaway (album) by Kelly Clarkson. I slept in the middle of reading Harry Potter 5. God, I’m like a first-grader! After three days of reading, I just am in page 100. How pathetic is that?

I was reading a blog of the English translation of Utada’s blog when the opening credits of Jewel in the Palace played on TV. I was like “Unti-unting malalating, karangitan at bituin…” I guess listening to JPop paid off. Now I’m all set to study Japanese. But not before I finish reading Harry Potter. Ugh.

Thursday. And oh, Breakaway just finished downloading. Whee!

Boredamnation is just around the corner.

Rodents

While sitting on the rat-munched sofas in the tambayan a while ago, Jazel and I exchanged stories from our twisted childhood, from a mother who paid the neighborhood kids to play with her daughter to an overachieving sixth-grader who “stained with shit” her immaculate reputation in school.

I was in the middle of my third account when I had an amazing realization. As young and as neurotic as I was then, I already had the knack for ruining (further) relationships (on the rocks). Chomping on the human ties with my two, silver-jacketed, upper incisors. I’m too lazy to recount what had happened so just rely on your inner playwright.

Anyway, I’m now using Jay’s PC to type this entry. I am staying overnight (at last!) with Dia who’s having her CPU fixed by Jay. Harvey, Tam Tam, Won Won (Jay and Dona's pet hamsters) are actually bigger than I thought. They are so cuddly and adorable! Harvey has this brownish, white-streaked fur well-combed and parted along the spine that he resembles a wig, or as Dia puts it, a toupee. Haha.

Vista

Vista Build 5308 to be precise. Isn't it gorgoeous? Drool.

Months ago, I installed a Vista visual style pack so now it looks as if I am running a knockoff of the actual OS. The only thing I don't fancy about it is the silver frame of the windows. It's too boring and I'd rather it be black like the sleek taskbar.

But as you see in the image (in the real OS), there is now an option for changing the color scheme of the windows, just like with the folder icons color settings.

This build, if unregistered, lasts only for 13 days.

Hmm

How's she doing?

Just like him (he, whatever).

More or less.

Wings and Letters

These are two songs I'm currently, repeatedly listening to. They were written, composed, and sung by Utada Hikaru.

The music and lyrics have a characteristic sedateness to them. Sigh.

I am posting the English translation here. Hope you'll appreciate the beautiful poetry. :)

Wings

Motionlessly, staring at your back
I wonder if I should hold you close

These bold things are just my imagination
(lalalalalala, lalala ooh oh)
These large, short-term wings just don't fly
(Only you are my friend)
Soothing words build up but remain unsaid
(lalalalalala, lalala ooh oh)
How did I get used this so easily?
(Only you are my friend)

The temperature of my bath isn't warm enough
My dependency on you is not enough either
Maybe that's just unnecessary kindness to myself

I want to feel safe in someplace warm
(lalalalalala, lalala ooh oh)
Reading my favorite writer's book
(Only you are my friend)
Quickly forgetting the words of yesterday
(lalalalalala, lalala ooh oh)
Why do I doubt someone I love?
(Only you are my friend)

Take a chance in the headwind and fly
Don't be anxious and close before the ending

However, I can be prepared for tomorrow
I'll go to sleep early tonight

What I'm writing I can say in front of you;
I'm dreaming of heaven

Letters

Walking on the warm sand,
Towards the sea where sad news won't reach me
Even without you, when the sun rises
A new day begins

The choices I made today
I don't know where they'll lead me
That's the reason why
My lazy self works everyday

Ah.. The sky in both my hands, a storm in my heart
Ah.. My farewells to you
Ah.. What remained on this seashore
Was always a letter, left behind
Ah.. even in my dreams, even on the phone
Ah.. I want to hear your voice
Ah.. You, never good with words
Always left behind a letter

When I become busy
Sometimes I forget to communicate
It happens to anyone, once or twice

Today I spoke to an elderly person
"Being alone's alright, too," they said
Skeptical me, I'm still thinking it over

Ah.. Like names to flowers, wishes to stars
Ah.. Me to you
Ah.. Decorating this windowsill
Was always a letter, left behind
Ah.. If only over the shirt
Ah.. I want to feel you
Ah.. I remember the last line
"I'll be back for sure"

Ah.. A place to relax, the sequel of a dream
Ah.. "Welcome home" to you
Ah.. From somewhere in the world
I'll keep sending myself back to you
Ah.. Even in my dreams, even on the phone
Ah.. I want to hear your voice
Ah.. When you, never any good with words,
Suddenly become far away from me
Nothing else is needed

Marimla

I feel so cold. Bira ku ne ing lagyu mu keng Y!M, keng BS, at keng telepono ku. If I really wanted (wished) to let go, I should’ve done this a long time ago.

E naku man mimwa keka. Ika ing mimwa kanaku. All those nasty things I’ve said about you, I do not mean them now. Pati itang status message ku a kitang mu kanaku kung para keka ya na meglaram ku pang ali naman pero keng tutu wa. Defense mechanism, projection. Kasi menasakitan ku mu talaga. Up until now. Pero siguru dapat mu kaku ing egana-ganang kasakitan a araramdaman ku kasi penasakitan da ka rin naman. For that, I’m sorry. Balu ku peuranan da na kang makanini manibat bakasyun. Ali na ka man makibat.

I hope the best for you. Sana salesen mu ne ing biye mu kung ali mapaldak na kang tuluyan. Balu mo, metung mu naman ing aanyaran ku keka. Friendship. Pero siguro malawut nang malyari ita. I don’t know your exact reasons, I can only speculate. Kasi pin naman emuku paksabyan o pakibatan. Siguru masyadu kung marok keng lawe mu kaya makanita. But now I’m letting go. I’m letting things be. Mabayat man keng lub.

One thing. Buran ku no sana keng PC ku reng litratung atsu ka. I made what I promised myself one last look. I couldn’t. I’m leaving theme there.

Patugut naku. Sana akit me ini.

Multitasking

I am sitting in front of the PC.
I am typing this.
I am listening to a shuffled playlist of Beyonce and Mariah Carey songs.
I am folding the dry laundry.
I am leeching a torrent of Eating Out.
I am reading a pdf of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
I am (alone on and) waiting for people to sign in Y!M.
I am wondering how people are doing in the CE planning sem.
I am contemplating about "things" that happened yesterday.
I am sulking.
I am posting this.

Anything Under the Summer's Scorching Sun

Y!M Convo Snippet #1

her: may line ba siya sa pisngi pag nagsmile?
her: sa pic parang
her: wala lang natutuwa ako
her: kasi ung kapatid ko din meron
her: ako din meron kaso di na maxado visible gaya ng dati
me: oo meron
me: ako rin dati
her: hehe
her: nawawala pala
her: di ko din alam bakit
her: dati asar pa ako e
her: nung nagtagal nagustuhan ko na
her: tapos di na siya halata

Y!M Convo Snippet #2

her: iiyak na lang ako magisa
her: kung bleep
her: e di go
her: :))
me: try mong umiyak sa shower
her: nagawa ko na
her: refreshing!
her: :))
me: masarap? di ko pa natry eh
me: hehe
her: tapos lalo kang maiiyak
her: kasi di mo alam kung gano na karami iniyak mo
her :))
her: oo masarap
her: :D
her: di ka pa maririnig kung hahagulgol ka dahil sa tubig

Y!M Convo Snippet #3

me: alam mo ba, i had a weird dream
me: namatay daw si bleep and i was crying really hard
her: hmm...ano kya interpretation nyan?
her: wish fulfillment? nyehehe, joke
me: ewan ko nga eh
me: weird no?
her: lahat naman ata ng panaginip weird, ako kanina nanaginip na nagsuot daw ako ng parang rocker outfit, tapos nung suot ko na as in nag-iba hair ko and meron nang makeup, hehehe
her: ...tpos biglang nag-melt ang makeup, shet nakakatakot
me: kumusta naman tayo?
me: baka tayo lang ang may weird dreams
me: mga mentally disturbed and emotionally scarred
her: mga repressed souls
her: repressed emotions kaya sa panaginip na lang binubuhos

Y!M Convo Snippet #4

me: hmm
me: i want to have my eyebrows plucked
her: you can do it yourself
me: wenk
me: di ako marunong
me: at saka masakit
me: at saka gusto yung arch na panglalaki tlg
her: pwede tlga, meron yang pattern or whatever u call ang brow mo, just pluck whatever yung wala dun
her: treading nlang, pero sakit din yun
me: treading? baka threading
her: typo

Indulgence

Woke up yesterday feeling inexplicably down but reading the entry from a dear friend’s blog gave reason to my illegitimate depression. The Beginning of Goodbyes. I didn’t need to read beyond the title to know what the post was about. However, reading it wholly surprised me as it made me more upset.

I had been alone all along. I was just too busy to feel it. I want to change how you feel but that would be unnecessary more than it would be absurd. The best I can do is hope that you only came to a rash conclusion. If you really had been alone all along, then so had I. So had most of the people around us. And all together, we were happy being busy to keep us from feeling even the loneliness that would eventually consume us no matter how we escaped or ignored it.

Am I being nonsensical? Forgive me; this is my attempt to console you (and myself).

Surely, as experience has taught, this feeling will be short-lived. I am faithful the memories will not share the same fate. As for the moment, let melancholy drown and intoxicate the frail and the immature.

Todo na ‘To (Pwera Attendance)

It was the CE Induction Ball last Friday night at the Max’s, Katipunan. To tell frankly, Jazel and I were disappointed to the point of being infuriated. Why not when less than forty people came, more than half of which are graduating? Hello? The Induction Ball is primarily for the new members and officers! Only seventeen people were inducted. Where were the others? It just makes my blood boil!

Okay, enough ranting. At least the people who mattered were there. My SPAdHoc co-head (so sad our partnership had to end like this). The warm, familiar faces that never failed to make me smile and feel at home.

Even with our number, I hope all had a great time with one another’s company, with the program (thanks to Chris for hosting, as usual), and, of course, with the most important thing, the food. Haha. Thanks to those who didn’t attend, all had second servings to take home with them.

Again, super thanks to all who came (including Sir Noli), your presence was super appreciated! See you at the next Induction Ball. Guess what, I am one of the SPAdHoc heads again, for the third consecutive sem. (Ivan to self, “Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa, kasi sila sawa na sayo!”)