Penguin Proportions
I looked at the mirror, I saw my face, and it is as if it had been stung by a dozen killer bees. No, I don’t think it’s because of my newly cut hair. Just this morning after pressing my pair of pants, I tried it on, and just to zip the, um, zipper and button the, um, button I had to suck in my guts.
After just a week of living a pig’s life, I can’t believe I would gain fat this quickly and in all the wrong places. I am starting to look like Mojacko or that penguin the neck of which I would happily slit.
Hmm, what exactly have I been (not) doing to swell this much? Let’s see.
1.) I scavenge the ref for food every hour. Eating more than three times a day keeps me from being super bored. Even if it’s the leftover from yesterday’s dinner or the processed meat (name it: hotdog, ham, tocino, longganisa) inside the freezer, I don’t care just as long I have something to stuff down my throat.
2.) I drink five beer mugs of hot Milo a day. I think I am already developing an addiction for Milo. I will sue Nestle for truckloads of Koko Krunch and Crunch if I find out Milo contains caffeine. (Imagine having sugar rush and being high on caffeine at the same time. Happy!)
3.) I slouch in front of the computer the rest of the time. While semi-lying on the ergonomic chair that I turned practically into a bed, I eagerly wait for new feeds from the sites and blogs I religiously read. Tip: Instead of watching the news, catch the same migraine by reading hate posts of warring bloggers.
So if you want to hit two birds with one stone, getting fat while ensuring your slot in hell, just do what I do. Gluttony and sloth to the max!
I looked at the mirror, I saw my face, and it is as if it had been stung by a dozen killer bees. No, I don’t think it’s because of my newly cut hair. Just this morning after pressing my pair of pants, I tried it on, and just to zip the, um, zipper and button the, um, button I had to suck in my guts.
After just a week of living a pig’s life, I can’t believe I would gain fat this quickly and in all the wrong places. I am starting to look like Mojacko or that penguin the neck of which I would happily slit.
Hmm, what exactly have I been (not) doing to swell this much? Let’s see.
1.) I scavenge the ref for food every hour. Eating more than three times a day keeps me from being super bored. Even if it’s the leftover from yesterday’s dinner or the processed meat (name it: hotdog, ham, tocino, longganisa) inside the freezer, I don’t care just as long I have something to stuff down my throat.
2.) I drink five beer mugs of hot Milo a day. I think I am already developing an addiction for Milo. I will sue Nestle for truckloads of Koko Krunch and Crunch if I find out Milo contains caffeine. (Imagine having sugar rush and being high on caffeine at the same time. Happy!)
3.) I slouch in front of the computer the rest of the time. While semi-lying on the ergonomic chair that I turned practically into a bed, I eagerly wait for new feeds from the sites and blogs I religiously read. Tip: Instead of watching the news, catch the same migraine by reading hate posts of warring bloggers.
So if you want to hit two birds with one stone, getting fat while ensuring your slot in hell, just do what I do. Gluttony and sloth to the max!
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