Mojackulapo

My life is a bore and I've run dry of creative juices. This poor blog has not been getting enough attention; it's being neglected, even. By me. I need inspiration. Sad to say even Elle Bee Doo can't provide that for me. Does that qualify him as my white elephant? How about yellow, you know? Do you think that was racist? Am I making sense? Who cares anyway? I'm digressing.

I think I am surrounded by boring people who then rub their boringness onto me. Now, I feel as bland as the colored water which they pass off as orange juice or iced tea. You know, the one usually served during poorly funded org assemblies. Or maybe it's the weather. To hell with humidity and dampness, I'm starting to look like a fungus. A millisecond passes, and now, I am, er, we are a million fungi. And still multiplying. Exponentializing? Just bonk me in the head.

Bonk bonk, he bonked me down
Bonk bonk, I hit the ground
Bonk bonk, that awful sound
Bonk bonk, my bonker bonked me down

Now, I leave things hanging and change the topic. I defy logical, coherent writing.

Wish me luck, I just might have a dinner with Elle Bee Doo on Tuesday night. It wouldn't be just the two of us, of course; it'd be a group thingy. I pray that the bitch wouldn't tag along. If you know what's good for you, better back off, bitch! Please excuse me, my delusions carry me away sometimes. Make that most of the time.

Gosh, it's already 4AM. Zzzzzz. ~__~;

I Cram, Therefore I Blog

Inspired by a friend's post. May tu Último rest in click-clackity-pressing-less peace.

I haven't even started writing my SONA reaction paper for BA 102, and I'm still less than halfway through my BA 126 readings. What's new anyway? Cram, cram, cram as I always do.

I have reached an advanced stage in cramming where the pressure just numbs me totally that I don't even try to accomplish what need/s to be accomplished. After a brief rush of adrenaline care of the guilt trip, I just sit back, relax, and watch all things crumble before me. Time and experience have heightened my threshold for disappointment and failure. The hell I care anymore. (Coherence stops here.)

At times, I just wish I'd win a million bucks so I could start my own business (or invest the money in high-return instruments because life would be easier like that). A high need for achievement, you say? I don't think so Maybe. More precisely, it's because no HR manager in his right mind would hire a crammer my type. No, I wouldn't work best under pressure. I wouldn't work, period. A complete waste of company resources, that's what I'd be. I bet that when a load of paperwork is piled on my desk I'd just stall, stall, stall and use the office connection to blog. Like what I'm doing now.

As the saying goes, "If dreams were horses, beggars losers would ride on them." I'd ride on stallion named Elle Bee Doo. WTF!

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

Sleep a-all, sleep all day...

Eat, stalk surf, and sleep some more.

Elle Bee Doo, I miss you!

"Elle Bee Doo" sounds like "libido".

What to do, what to do?

Download India.Arie.

Now, I'm off to sleep again study.

Eww.

I Would Rather Write a No-brainer Blog Post Like This One

For the second time, I am not writing an article for Ventures when I already had promised the features editor that I would. Zel, I now give you the right to kill me. Being a true-blooded Scorpio, you either sting me to death or you bitchslap the f*cking hell out of me (which is futile since I am the spawn of Satan).

Quoting (yet again) Ventures editor-in-chief, Ash, "After all, you [I] said yes!" Indeed, I said yes. In fact most of the time I say yes even when it is halfheartedly meant. Why? Because I'm a people-pleaser, I suppose, especially to those whom I find difficult (more like embarrassing) to turn down. Neurotic! Neurotic!

But, Zel, now that we're friendlier than friends with each other (Yucch, I am so assuming I might as well die of maling akala... lumalaki, konting gusot... *Clears throat* Excuse me.) may you find it in your heart to forgive me. "But, Ivan, you said yes not once but twice!" In GMA fashion I say, "I'm sorry." Psychotic! Psychotic!

Split personalities aside, I now am applying in ABAM. For all the wrong reasons.

"You, bitch, get away from him!"
*Turns to "him"*
"You, you get your hands off her! And stop biting your nails! Bite mine."

I also am an Aux Corps volunteer so this coming BACBACAN you'll see me wearing not a red Seniors shirt but a white one. Fine with me, I am not a "batch" person anyway. And yay to free McDo meal!

Um, what else? That's it for now, cow. Bow.

'Cause I'm Dreamin' of You Tonight

For the past weeks, I have been so there is a huge possibility that I will again tonight. But don't flatter yourself just yet, brotha. Had I mastered the art of lucid dreaming I would rather it's my dead grandparents that I see than the cold, life-sucking specter that is you.

I am not bitter and I hold no trace of grudge against you (anymore) either; it's just that a cold presence (er, absence) is really how you have been to me since my fateful freefall in the bottomless pit of shame, self-disrespect, and mental unfitness.

I remember when Vigile asked about how one escapes from the clutches of the memory of a person when one had already severed all known ties and had "erased" anything that may remind one of that person but still end up being haunted by the past. Well, I ask the same. Do any of you know the answer? Come on, tell me.

A la Lady Macbeth: Out of my subconscious, damned spot (and I reduced you to a mere spot, nyahaha), out I say! (Please?)

I went (not) after what I wanted
I went (not) after what I wanted
And (fair enough) I never really got it
But it don't matter at all (or doesn't it?)
- Nelly Furtado, "What I Wanted" chorus (my modification)

As usual, lotsa nonsense, this post is. Sigh.

No Classes Daw Tomorrow

Well, I'll just have to wait until tomorrow. You know how UP is. As my orgmate told me, she (UP) is her own community, independent from outside news and all that jazz. (Shit, did I just use that phrase?)

Tonight, I'm back to my old, squatting days. This time it'll be Kate and Zel hosting to my parasitic ways. (Uy, rhyming.) Actually, I, together with a whole bunch of HR people, spent last night (er, this morning) sleeping in Kate and Zel's unit. We stayed in Tribu two hours more after the CE Acquaintance Party. They had booze, and being the wimpy prude, I KJ-ed the night away. After Tribu, we went to Eastwood to eat again.

Sigh. It has been raining crazy(ly) and it really annoys me when the hems of my pants brush the ground and absorb the icky wetness.

(Oh my, I only have less than three minutes left so I think I'm going to edit this post some other time. Byers.)

Update: On second thought, I'll edit no further. I'm too lazy.

Deja Vu

Last Friday night, I texted Jazel that we'd meet at Jollibee, Katips. Of course, I was late and by the time I came, she's done eating her two-piece chicken dinner. I had two-piece burger steak meal and you don't really give a crap about these details so why do I keep on writing about them?

Moving on, I asked Jazel's help to Photoshop (read "'Googling' Lands in Dictionary") this sem's SPAdHoc sigsheet picture the final form of which you'll just have to behold until the sigsheets' release. While we were in Jollibee, some of her blockmates barged in and so did some people with whom "socializing" I thought was unnecessary. Good thing we were seated where they couldn't spot us. That or they also felt that interaction with us was just a waste of energy.

Oh yeah, we just watched some Utada videos and an episode of "Ouran High Host Club". Fast forward: Seattle's Best. We worked on the SPAdHoc pic until two in the morning so it was "Tokyo/New York Nights" all over again.

Blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah.

P.S. QueseDia, good luck, good luck! Career woman na ang drama mo ngayon. On your first payday, don't you forget our dinner with Teacher Duna. :P

Zel, I wasn't able to come up with a title for the AP. Very, very zurry. :(

I was able to install a driver to one of our external modems so now I can connect to the Internet again. Woohoo!

Pormalan

Sheeet! I accidentally edited my "Demodem" post to this! Sheeet! Bobo, bobo, bobo!

CWTS

Prof. Jardiolin was still calling the roll (I've just invented a phrase here), but, unfortunately, she was already shouting out the "V" surnames when I came in class today. It was only a ten-minute tardiness on my part, but, as far as she's concerned, it was counted as an absence. Sh*t. And she allows only three absences. Exceed that and she'll give you an "F".

I wouldn't have attended anymore the class since I was already marked absent if not for the reason that all the groups were to report their CWTS project concepts. Besides, I went through a lot of trouble dressing myself in business attire it would have been a waste, my yuppie bs look, if I didn't stay.

CE Applicants' Orientation

App, App, and Defer Away! Ain't I brilliant? Okay, fine. Ain't my ideas brilliant? Yes, my ideas brilliant. Please let me indulge in self-flattery. It's rare (Who the hell is this conceited a**hole kidding?) instances like this I get to bloat my often, so deflated self-esteem.

At last, baked spaghetti, you found your way through CE. I should tell you, though, that my sincere and long, um, longing for you was quickly replaced by superficial pagka-umay only to be superseded again by my deep-seated longing (more like katakawan) for you.

Congrats, Kat! Heya it'z you. Haha. Oh, ocean deep...

Gala

Alpha, Lubert, Levs, Virge, Leslie, National Youth Commission, Galleria, Time Zone, Abby, Mang Jimmy's...

11:44 PM, in an Internet shop on Philcoers. My butt is already sore. It must be the chair I'm sitting on. I should go home. But a chair is not a house, a house is not a home when no one's there to turn the key (me?)...

So bomalabs.

De-Demodem

Demodem
Waah! The CPU modem of our PC in Pampanga is not working and I can't fix it. (Jayers, I need help!) I wasn't able to update my poor blog over the weekend as was planned.

All I was able to savage from my "Demodem" post. (No) Thanks to my Kinja account.

Loser

Last night, Norman asked if I could be a lifter for our batch's BACBACAN cheerdance, and in response, I asked if they, my batchmates, are out of their minds and are that desperate to even invite me to do such a task. Hello, I can barely twist a cap off a C2 bottle or tear open a bag of chips, and they want me to raise someone most probably heavier than I, an underweight weakling, am? Are they mocking faggotry (pun intended)?

Time has come that I again need to strap my belt on when wearing my pants lest they fall off. The padding of fat I've grown around my waist during the summer vacation I was able to lose in just two, school weeks of not eating. It's not that I'm starving myself to further waif-dom but it's a bit hard eating healthily when I'm away from home where food in the ref and the pantry are just morsels of Tic Tac to me (as if gluttony isn't unhealthy).

Anyway, the semester, so far, has been smooth-sailing, and I'll strive to keep it that way. And oh, I just realized that during MTh, I attend Terminals and Seniors classes (as the BA curriculum says I should); during TF, I am one with the Juniors; and during, W(S) I turn into a Sophie. How fascinating, noh? (How loser-ly.)

Jasmin

The Madame struck terror in this faint heart of mine. I trembled and palpitated as if I was seconds away from that major stroke that fatefully would invalid me for the rest of my aimless, inconsequential existence.

However, for me to even reach that point, the first five minutes of class she spent telling-off-slash-bitching-on-slash-humiliating poor, clueless students unsuspecting of the scourging awaiting them was rather short (unlike this sentence). God, never will I absent or be late for class again.

After that, all went well. I even read in front of her and the whole class the chapter summary paper my groupmates and I picked to present. Actually, I volunteered because, one, I had no paper to contribute to our group (I was absent the previous meeting, okay) and, two, because I thought it was an ingenious way to get on the good side of (in short, suck up to) Madame.

Enough

I want to get away.

And cuss, "Shut the f*ck up!"

I can put up and stay.

But it is unhealthy.

You wish I am not yours?

The feeling is mutual.

Label me ungrateful.

Who said I wanted you?

Just shoot me in the head.

I would be happier.

First Week, First Sem

After speaking in the most courteous tone and flashing wide, puppy eyes, I was able to prerog three BA electives and finally have enlisted eighteen units. Whew. Now I just have to return the book I borrowed during summer and pay the fine due to complete my enrollment for the sem.

I have six subjects and four professors all in all. BA 115 and BA 126 (thanks to Alpha for giving me her slot) under Prof. Valcarcel and BA 102 and BA 175 under Prof. Alba. I hear not-so-good comments from people about them; I'll just have to see by myself if they're true. I am also taking up BA 151 under Imelda's doppelganger Prof. Acuna (who was less harsh and intimidating than I expected, maybe it's because of her sickness) and BA 192 under Mr. Aseoche (pronounce it with me: a'-se-o'-che), an Entrep course where we have to execute our business plans before the end of the sem. That means investing money and earning profits (net loss equals failing grade). So much for not taking Feasib.

This sem also, I no longer am a resident of Narra. All reserved slots were taken so those in the waitlist, including me, were not accommodated. Oh well, it's all my fault, not securing a slot early on. I'll just have to try again next sem. Forunately, with the help of my friend Tin (Bruha ka, maraming, maraming salamat!), I found a decent boarding house in Krus na Ligas (In fairness, it has not one but two TV sets with cable channels). I will be moving in on Monday. Super thanks, too, to Gian and the 1508 Roommates and to Judy and the Conti Sisters for allowing the homeless, palaboy me to stay in their places the past three days. :D

On a musical note, I just finished downloading Ultra Blue by Utada Hikaru. I love! Not surprisingly, it has been doing very well in the Oricon (Japanese counterpart of Billboard). Currently, I'm downloading Loose by Nelly Furtado. I really have high respect for singers who can and do write songs. Future download projects: Back to Basics by Christina Aguilera (August, 2006) and B'day by Beyonce (September, 2006).

Darling, darling, ah
Questions make me blue
Darling, darling, ah
Tell me something good

P.S. Thanks to Dia for the strawberry jam and to Judy for the souvenir keychain. And oh, I didn't attend the showing of Kubrador because I had no one to accompany me. Jazel had a 150-page reading to be discussed in class the following day; Dia had an interview, also the following day. Miss Jessica Zafra, I will see you someday. It's fated.

I Won! We Won!

From Twisted by Jessica Zafra:

Free Movie!

There will be a preview of Kubrador, the new film by Jeffrey Jeturian, on Thursday, June 15, 7.30pm at Greenbelt 3, Cinema 1, Ayala Center, Makati. Kubrador covers three days in the life of a jueteng collector played by Gina Pareño. It will be screened in competition at the Moscow Film Festival later this month. The preview is for the cast, crew, and friends of the production. I will put you plus one companion on the guest list if you can answer this question: Which film by Jeffrey Jeturian was in competition at the Venice Film Festival in 2001? Email your answer to jessica.zafra@gmail.com; first five to send in the correct answer get free admission for two.

They got it. Okay, please stop emailing your answers. If you wrote Tuhog, you are correct, but the first five to email were Nelson Macaalay, Ivan Rico, Kathleen Reyes, Dianne Lagrimas, and Joy Jamago. Their answers were all in before 4am.

Kate won and she didn't have to lift even a single finger. It was all my strategic scheming. Nyahaha! >:) I knew her UP Webmail password so I used her account to email another entry to the World Dominatrix's little contest.

Independence Day Post

Grabe, that "Captain Barbell" show ha, it's a nothing but a second-rate, trying-hard, copycat! *Throws cabernet sauvignon to Richard Gutierrez then licks his dripping wet face before ultimately devouring him whole* Yum, yum, slurp! Haha.

Well, you can definitely call the show a stinking copycat (Hello, "Smallville"?), but second-rate, I don't think so. Since its debut, the show has been hogging primetime viewership (and kicking the nasal Sarah Geronimo's butt) with a usual forty-plus percent rating.

GMA has been on a roll thrashing ABS-CBN for more than a year now. I hope this just goes on and on. And below I've posted something to add insult to Kapamilya injury (and in no way am I referring to the Ultra stampede). Haha.

AGB Nielsen Overnight Ratings
June 1, 2006 Thursday

24 Oras 29.7%
TV Patrol World 19.6%;

Captain Barbell 42.2%
Bituing Walang Ningning 25%;

Majika 42.7%
Sa Piling Mo 27.2%;

I Luv NY 38%
My Girl 24.3%;

Love of the Condor Heroes 31.9%
PBB Teen Edition 24.8%;

Jewel in the Palace 34.7%
Wonderful Life 13.5%

Source: Pinoy Rickey

Tonight, it's the second to the last episode of "Jewel in the Palace". Tears. :(

P.S. I'm homeless indefintely for the semester (Huh,did that make sense?), and I think I'm developing a sore throat. *Coughs*

Si Shawie, Freshie sa UP

2006-81068, that is the Megastar's student number. She's going to take up an Associate in Arts degree program under the UP Open University. If you're doubtful, see this for yourself; she's seventy-sixth on the list under her legal name Pangilinan, Sharon Cuneta. In fact, she even notched second in the Undergraduate Assessment Test or UgAT (the entrance exam) in her batch of fifty examinees.

I wouldn't have known had I not watched her being interviewed by Jessica Soho on "Kapuso Mo". I love you, Shawie! Haha. Sharonian? You bet I am.

Paranoid Klutz

The other night I had this strange dream where I was sitting near the edge of a roof. With great caution I restrained movement lest the roof would collapse and I would fall (I have acrophobia, you see.) Then a bird that looked like an oversized raven suddenly appeared out of nowhere. With its wide, majestic wings it glided in circles much like how a scavenging vulture would atop an animal seconds away from being a carcass. In the dream I felt as if I was that dying animal because every minute or so the bird flew towards me and pecked ferociously. In one of its attacks, it managed to tear a tiny piece of flesh off my leg. Of course, in defense, I shooed the bird away but I also kept worrying that the roof would give to my movement any moment.

Why am I writing about this? Because a while ago the plate I was taking out of the microwave slipped off my grip by accident and shattered on the floor. A bad omen? This incident and my dream, are they signs of bad worse things to come, or am I just a klutz gone paranoid because of excessive wakefulness?