Storm Coming

"If you are expecting for responsible journalism, you are reading the wrong column."

"You want something explosive? I am dropping the bomb for you."

Tetris

My life is a Tetris game destined for failure. The blocks fall at level-nine speed, yet it's not the kind of action that I look for. There are occasional, cheap thrills here and there, but I end up boring myself comatose most of the time. I let the pieces pile onto their places, not so neatly, forming gaps and holes in between. That must explain the void I feel inside. The vacuity no amount of Elmer's Glue (Yucch, talagang siningit?) can fill.

I anticipate the moment when finally the screen flashes the words "Game Over". It may be hard to stomach so I just look away, close my eyes, and fidget as I wait. O God, just push the "Off" button! (Shet, ang drama!)

I don't know where to start. I don't know where I stand. I don't know where I'm headed to. I'm so lost... in your arms, baby, lost in your a-a-arms.

Consuelo de Bobo

Sagittarius

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Not every day can offer a major turning point in your life, so (do not even) try not to have huge expectations for where this day takes you. It is always a good idea (pointless) to have specific goals, but today you also need to be realistic about where things can go. You do not have to experience disappointment as long as you keep things logical and a bit more conservative than usual. This is not the day to reach for the stars; just take things as they come and enjoy the results of your efforts.

Of Horses and of Termites

I delude myself of happy days, of harmony, and of personal gain development. Jockeying an albino stallion named Elmer is one thing, and riding a horse (that I shall refer to with female pronouns hereafter) is another thing. *Background music plays* When the light is off, then it isn't on. What very profound lyrics, noh?

As I was saying, riding her is another thing, especially when she could go berserk the moment I mount and feel her broad back between my fagotty thighs (yay to doubly double entendre and, at that, bestiality), thereby dislodging and leaving me lying on muddy ground. Worse, she could tear me into pieces then chew me up. (Dear reader, I understand you're wringing your brain right now to decipher what I'm saying here so I'll cut it out with the cryptic-ness. Besides, my metaphors are lame.)

Some people have taken seriously what recently came out of my foul mouth, and it still worries me that they have. Or have I just taken them seriously that they have taken me seriously? This early on I would like to set the record straight: No, I don't want to. No, no, no. Don't phunk with my heart (and mind).

I hallucinate, and to a certain degree, I think it is healthy. It paradoxically keeps me sane. But you know, my mental health is not that sound. Be very afraid of the catastrophe that may would happen if I were to agree to your proposition than if I were to decline. I have megalomaniac tendencies, you know. I'm just joking. You really wouldn't want an insect that feeds on wood, much more, make it your queen, would you?

Chocobot

Bigyan kita ng piso
Bili kang Chocobot sa kanto
Buksan at kainin mo
Balat nito'y iyong itago
Basahin ang nakasulat
Baka lang ika'y mamulat

I'm just stirring up things here. Moving on, Zel did her palm-reading thing on me. She only made clear that things are unclear. (Thing, thing, thing. Yay to articulateness.)

It only made clear that things are unclear.
Hmm. Here's another one.
Truth is truth hurts.
And the one-liner that takes home the trophy.
Will you choose to love someone who completes you or someone you love completely?
Or something to that effect. Either way, WTF!

Whoever authored that line should drown in liquified cheese. It implies you have to choose between two, separate persons. Can't you choose someone who completes you and, at the same time, whom you love completely? And why am I making such a fuss? I, too, should drown in liquified cheese, but only after I watch You Are the One. Yes, Elmer (a.k.a. Elle Bee Doo) , you are the one.

Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga look good together, noh? Whatever happened to the rumor that she's gay? "Magpakatotoo ka, sister," as her softdrink commercial with Piolo Pascual said (Remember?) And, yeah, that goes to you, too, Piolo.

Myx, Magnet, Meatshop

Last Tuesday night was my chance to see Elle Bee Doo play with his band, a chance that I wasted. Fortunately, it's not the last one. All along until the concert, I thought I was going with Kate and Zel. Apparently, they changed plans as one just slept with a migraine (care of Therese and her 142-ish 129 exam) and the other one met up with an Atenean "friend" (stress on the ""). Reluctantly I left the concert venue upon knowing no one would accompany me there as I shriek my lungs out a la psycho-fan girl for Elle and Elle alone. Now, it's clear what I want to do in life, be his groupie.

About what instrument he plays, I'm still clueless. If it's the keyboard or the guitar, imagine the beautiful music we can make together. Haha. Kadire! I doubt he's the vocalist, but if he is, then I'll go doubly more gaga over him, devour him in all his pasty-skinned glory. *Gags* Maybe instead of "Elle Bee Doo" I should name him "Elmer" as in, you know, Elmer's Glue. He looks squeakily clean it surprised me that he smokes. Blah blah, enough about Pasty Boy.

I went to Magnet and watched for the second time Up dharma Down perform live. There was no Dia (whose thigh I could have squeezed whenever I got excited by Armi's melisma) with me. However, all was good. Who needs Vanness Wu anyway when Wesley Gonzales, Buwi (sp? I swear he looks like Kim Rae Won) of Parokya, and handful of other cuties (pathetic word choice) are in the same room to ogle at?

The show ended around 12AM. Kate, Joan, and Zel were at Meatshop (or is it The Meatshop?); I followed. Picture them pouring Red Horse into their tall glasses and me modestly sipping bottled water. Four hours later, you'd have three, tipsy, girls barfing and a loser-ly prude holding his bottle of mineral water.

Just a Thought

Let's play Thematic Apperception.

First picture.

A pensive Kuma Chang

Against the city-landscape view, he hugs his pillow-san and stares blankly into space.

"Life is a one-way street, ain't it? If you could paint it I'd draw myself going in the right direction. So I go all the way like I really, really know, but the truth is I'm only guessing.

"It's even dark in the daytime. It's not just good, it's great depression. When I was lost I even found myself looking in the gun's direction.

"And so I tried everything but suicide. But, yes, it's crossed my mind.

"Just a thought. But I'm fine."

Random,Trivial Joys for the Day

I entered my CWTS class just in time for the roll call. Ma'am finished checking the list and, my surname wasn't at all called. Again. I was sitting at the backmost row I could barely make out anything but mumblings from her, but I was sure she didn't call out "Rico". I approached her in front to have my name checked only to find out I wasn't in the class list yet. She must have misplaced the piece of paper she asked of me one of the previous meetings. She let me on her list write my name, the minute, green squares following it all blank and clean. Which means my previous absences and tardiness were disregarded.

Inside the Katipunan jeepney, I sat in front, near the opening. Thank God the driver was not smoking. The road between Malcolm and Romulo halls was not lit well so when I looked outside to my right, a very large and definite shadow of my head was hitting the sidewalk. As I was watching my own shadow I slowly bobbed my head, and the littlest of movements translated into sizable ones for the dark silhouette. It brought me back to my childhood, the powerless nights, my standing near the yellow candle on the lobby floor, my enormous head shadow covering the ceiling.

The smell of alimuom was in the Acad Oval air. Not too intense to actually nauseate and make me throw up whatever I've eaten for dinner. Just right, addictive, even. I wonder if marijuana smells the same.

^_^

On Back to Basics

Even before Christina Aguilera's latest offering Back to Basics is released in stores, I've heard comments showing little confidence in her recent musical venture. "[...] she keeps making music the market just simply doesn't respond to." (Did I even punctuate that sentence correctly?)

I have to admit I, too, have been worrying of disappointing sales for this album since her previous singles "Tilt Ya Head Back" and "Car Wash" having somewhat similar genre as Back to Basics' have charted unsuccessfully on Billboard. Then, I came across the following interview.

Newman (interviewer): The album is very ambitious. There is the sense that you were holding nothing back.

Aguilera: I totally went to bat every single day, I put my whole heart into it. I really opened myself up a lot and I appreciate and admire artists who are ambitious and are able to really take chances and think outside of their own comfort zone. I think the only time we really pave the way for future music and to encourage future artists to be their own individual selves and to express themselves to their fullest capacity is to encourage them to think outside of that safety box. And, yeah, it can feel naked sometimes, but I think it's for the good of music sometimes and for the good of being an artist, period.

"Singer Channels A Bygone Era On Double-Disc Set" (snippet), Melinda Newman, July 24, 2006, Billboard official website. (Isn't it obvious I didn't take up English 10?)

Which reminds me of Utada Hikaru and ULTRA BLUE, a very parallel case. Well, make or break, I will be behind Back to Basics', um, back. Yay to self-important genuine musical artistry! Needless to say I still hope this record would not turn out a commercial flop.

Ooh, only two weeks left for waiting and I can finally download the album. Talk about legitimate fan support.

August Serenade

If you disappeared or even if you turned into a cat or a caterpillar, at first I'd cry a lot, but maybe eventually it'd make a good story. So today, let's talk a little longer on the phone than usual. I feel a bit guilty so I'll be nicer to you.

If you and I became friends and you gave me advice like you knew what you were talking about, I'd nonchalantly use it and then throw it in the trash. So today, let's take a walk. At night, the streets are empty. The moonlight makes most things look prettier.

So today, let's talk a little longer on the phone than usual. I feel a bit guilty so I'll be nicer to you. So today, let's take a walk. At night, the streets are empty. The moonlight makes most things look prettier.

Ha, I got you! It's the English translation of "Hachigatsu no Serenade" by Suga Shikao. In prose form. To fool you that it's another one of my cryptic entries. Haha. Had I posted the translated lyrics in its original, verse form you might not have read it in its entirety (I'm assuming you did read it in its entirety.) I know 'cause that's what I do ("Oh, verses. Next.")

Simple, happy, and unpretentious. The song may not make any sense but at least it's simple, happy, and unpretentious. Or so my complex, sad, and pretentious self thinks. Whatever. It's an insert song to an episode of the anime "Honey and Clover," season one. Since "August" is in its title and today is the first day of August, I decided to post it here. Whee! *Coughs* Excuse me.

Honey and Clover OST album art (click to enLARGE)

Mojackulapo

My life is a bore and I've run dry of creative juices. This poor blog has not been getting enough attention; it's being neglected, even. By me. I need inspiration. Sad to say even Elle Bee Doo can't provide that for me. Does that qualify him as my white elephant? How about yellow, you know? Do you think that was racist? Am I making sense? Who cares anyway? I'm digressing.

I think I am surrounded by boring people who then rub their boringness onto me. Now, I feel as bland as the colored water which they pass off as orange juice or iced tea. You know, the one usually served during poorly funded org assemblies. Or maybe it's the weather. To hell with humidity and dampness, I'm starting to look like a fungus. A millisecond passes, and now, I am, er, we are a million fungi. And still multiplying. Exponentializing? Just bonk me in the head.

Bonk bonk, he bonked me down
Bonk bonk, I hit the ground
Bonk bonk, that awful sound
Bonk bonk, my bonker bonked me down

Now, I leave things hanging and change the topic. I defy logical, coherent writing.

Wish me luck, I just might have a dinner with Elle Bee Doo on Tuesday night. It wouldn't be just the two of us, of course; it'd be a group thingy. I pray that the bitch wouldn't tag along. If you know what's good for you, better back off, bitch! Please excuse me, my delusions carry me away sometimes. Make that most of the time.

Gosh, it's already 4AM. Zzzzzz. ~__~;

I Cram, Therefore I Blog

Inspired by a friend's post. May tu Último rest in click-clackity-pressing-less peace.

I haven't even started writing my SONA reaction paper for BA 102, and I'm still less than halfway through my BA 126 readings. What's new anyway? Cram, cram, cram as I always do.

I have reached an advanced stage in cramming where the pressure just numbs me totally that I don't even try to accomplish what need/s to be accomplished. After a brief rush of adrenaline care of the guilt trip, I just sit back, relax, and watch all things crumble before me. Time and experience have heightened my threshold for disappointment and failure. The hell I care anymore. (Coherence stops here.)

At times, I just wish I'd win a million bucks so I could start my own business (or invest the money in high-return instruments because life would be easier like that). A high need for achievement, you say? I don't think so Maybe. More precisely, it's because no HR manager in his right mind would hire a crammer my type. No, I wouldn't work best under pressure. I wouldn't work, period. A complete waste of company resources, that's what I'd be. I bet that when a load of paperwork is piled on my desk I'd just stall, stall, stall and use the office connection to blog. Like what I'm doing now.

As the saying goes, "If dreams were horses, beggars losers would ride on them." I'd ride on stallion named Elle Bee Doo. WTF!

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

Sleep a-all, sleep all day...

Eat, stalk surf, and sleep some more.

Elle Bee Doo, I miss you!

"Elle Bee Doo" sounds like "libido".

What to do, what to do?

Download India.Arie.

Now, I'm off to sleep again study.

Eww.

I Would Rather Write a No-brainer Blog Post Like This One

For the second time, I am not writing an article for Ventures when I already had promised the features editor that I would. Zel, I now give you the right to kill me. Being a true-blooded Scorpio, you either sting me to death or you bitchslap the f*cking hell out of me (which is futile since I am the spawn of Satan).

Quoting (yet again) Ventures editor-in-chief, Ash, "After all, you [I] said yes!" Indeed, I said yes. In fact most of the time I say yes even when it is halfheartedly meant. Why? Because I'm a people-pleaser, I suppose, especially to those whom I find difficult (more like embarrassing) to turn down. Neurotic! Neurotic!

But, Zel, now that we're friendlier than friends with each other (Yucch, I am so assuming I might as well die of maling akala... lumalaki, konting gusot... *Clears throat* Excuse me.) may you find it in your heart to forgive me. "But, Ivan, you said yes not once but twice!" In GMA fashion I say, "I'm sorry." Psychotic! Psychotic!

Split personalities aside, I now am applying in ABAM. For all the wrong reasons.

"You, bitch, get away from him!"
*Turns to "him"*
"You, you get your hands off her! And stop biting your nails! Bite mine."

I also am an Aux Corps volunteer so this coming BACBACAN you'll see me wearing not a red Seniors shirt but a white one. Fine with me, I am not a "batch" person anyway. And yay to free McDo meal!

Um, what else? That's it for now, cow. Bow.

'Cause I'm Dreamin' of You Tonight

For the past weeks, I have been so there is a huge possibility that I will again tonight. But don't flatter yourself just yet, brotha. Had I mastered the art of lucid dreaming I would rather it's my dead grandparents that I see than the cold, life-sucking specter that is you.

I am not bitter and I hold no trace of grudge against you (anymore) either; it's just that a cold presence (er, absence) is really how you have been to me since my fateful freefall in the bottomless pit of shame, self-disrespect, and mental unfitness.

I remember when Vigile asked about how one escapes from the clutches of the memory of a person when one had already severed all known ties and had "erased" anything that may remind one of that person but still end up being haunted by the past. Well, I ask the same. Do any of you know the answer? Come on, tell me.

A la Lady Macbeth: Out of my subconscious, damned spot (and I reduced you to a mere spot, nyahaha), out I say! (Please?)

I went (not) after what I wanted
I went (not) after what I wanted
And (fair enough) I never really got it
But it don't matter at all (or doesn't it?)
- Nelly Furtado, "What I Wanted" chorus (my modification)

As usual, lotsa nonsense, this post is. Sigh.

No Classes Daw Tomorrow

Well, I'll just have to wait until tomorrow. You know how UP is. As my orgmate told me, she (UP) is her own community, independent from outside news and all that jazz. (Shit, did I just use that phrase?)

Tonight, I'm back to my old, squatting days. This time it'll be Kate and Zel hosting to my parasitic ways. (Uy, rhyming.) Actually, I, together with a whole bunch of HR people, spent last night (er, this morning) sleeping in Kate and Zel's unit. We stayed in Tribu two hours more after the CE Acquaintance Party. They had booze, and being the wimpy prude, I KJ-ed the night away. After Tribu, we went to Eastwood to eat again.

Sigh. It has been raining crazy(ly) and it really annoys me when the hems of my pants brush the ground and absorb the icky wetness.

(Oh my, I only have less than three minutes left so I think I'm going to edit this post some other time. Byers.)

Update: On second thought, I'll edit no further. I'm too lazy.

Deja Vu

Last Friday night, I texted Jazel that we'd meet at Jollibee, Katips. Of course, I was late and by the time I came, she's done eating her two-piece chicken dinner. I had two-piece burger steak meal and you don't really give a crap about these details so why do I keep on writing about them?

Moving on, I asked Jazel's help to Photoshop (read "'Googling' Lands in Dictionary") this sem's SPAdHoc sigsheet picture the final form of which you'll just have to behold until the sigsheets' release. While we were in Jollibee, some of her blockmates barged in and so did some people with whom "socializing" I thought was unnecessary. Good thing we were seated where they couldn't spot us. That or they also felt that interaction with us was just a waste of energy.

Oh yeah, we just watched some Utada videos and an episode of "Ouran High Host Club". Fast forward: Seattle's Best. We worked on the SPAdHoc pic until two in the morning so it was "Tokyo/New York Nights" all over again.

Blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah.

P.S. QueseDia, good luck, good luck! Career woman na ang drama mo ngayon. On your first payday, don't you forget our dinner with Teacher Duna. :P

Zel, I wasn't able to come up with a title for the AP. Very, very zurry. :(

I was able to install a driver to one of our external modems so now I can connect to the Internet again. Woohoo!