Pokerific

I didn't expect to win. Yeah, right. I did expect to win, but to put it more nicely, I hoped to win. And win did I. Yeah, baby!

Actually, I was close to disqualification even before the tournament began. I woke up at 9:15 AM when the set start time was 9 AM. Good thing SE Men were kind enough to move it to 10:30 and wait for me. Nah. They were hoping for more people to register.

The event started with a raffle, and Lucky Me Pancit Canton, I won a bottle of St. George blended whiskey. Not bad. In the elimination round, I was designated to a table with a cute, baby-faced, Chinito JMA-er (Here I go again.) Not bad. I placed second in our table (Raymond Silva, you know, Janna Garcia's Raymond, placed first) so that meant I qualified for the finals. Not bad.

There should have been a semis but the winners opted to have us eight in one final round. I was against it because I had higher chances of getting beaten in a table of eight players. I just reluctantly concurred lest I get beaten physically by seven, virile lads. I wouldn't want that, would I? Or wouldn't I? Joke.

But guess what, I managed to stay in the game until there were only three of us left. I must have been really lucky. Although, the chip leader was luckier. I went all in against him with my chips. I had a straight hand. The darn bastard had one, too. I lost at the turn of the river card. Fvcking shit.

I was aiming for first place and failed. Anyway, I had a fun time poker-ing and poker-facing people (I should be called Botox Boy.) At least, I realized I could be good at something: deceiving people. *Hisses*

Now, what to do with the whiskey? Hmm. And oh, I have a medal. Haha.

P.S. Thanks and congratulations to The UP Society of Emancipated Men. Special mention to the First Lady. Haha. I'll definitely join the next "Call or Fold" poker tournament next sem. And win.

Biter-biteran

Irreplaceable

Everything you own in the box to the left, in the closet, that's my stuff, if I bought it, please don't touch.

Since I'm not your everything, how about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you? I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep because the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy.

Resentment

Loving you was easy once upon a time. I just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me.

I know she was attractive, but I was here first. I've been with you for six years, why did I deserve to be treated this way by you? I know you're probably thinking what's up with me, I been crying for too long. What did you do to me? I used to be so strong. Now, you took my soul. I'm crying, I can't stop crying.

The Infatuation of Ivan Rico

Someone combo-slap me in the face, back to sanity. Now na! This feeling I've had too much, too many times in a span of, what, one year? Eek, hormonal outrage!

I've just crossed Instsik Bewa's name out my list. He can knock as much as he wants, but I'm not anymore opening my door for him. Haha. As if.

Amboy, he's done for. The fair-skinned bwitch has completely bedazzled him, and now he's like a little puppy chasing the bwitch's tail. God, save that poor puppy from the clutches of evil!

Sigh. Sixto's (help me create a better code name) not going to the poker tournament after all. So, so , so sad. Tomorrow may not be a lucky day to play. What do you think, should I call or fold? Corny, kadire! (Had I been the organizer I would've named the event "Hold or Fold". It ryhmes and sounds better. Wenk. For more epal lang.)

The Melancholy of Ivan Rico

As each day goes by, the thought of taking my own life grows more appealing. I'm pretty confident I'm still within the bounds of psychological normalcy, but my suicidal thoughts even freak me at times. If my depression perpetuates for long enough, I worry that I may reach a point where I end up realizing my morbid visions.

This depression is by far the most intense I've ever had to the point that it's already crippling me. Combine my incurable laziness and this brand of depression, and you'll have a worthless piece of existential chickenshit wallowing in self-pity and hopelessness.

It's exhausting enough dealing with my inner demons, and external, negative forces still add up to the weight of my burden. My back will break any minute. (Ay, how can that be; am I not spineless?) A broken back, a broken heart, broken everything.

Yes, I'm depressed. I want the world to care. I want the world to console me. Asa ka pa, gago! Then what?

Oh My God... Nairaos Rin ang Talent Night!

I should be posting something psycho-dramatic right now, but I've been too fvcking (Feel kong magmura, bakit?) depressed to finish it. Paradoxical, noh? Depression's what's inspired me to write, yet it's also what's been keeping me from writing.

I'll set my depression and suicidal thoughts aside for the moment. Today has been quite cheerful (cheerful?) for me to whine and to give my readers (feelingero?) migraine. I'll savor this temporary high until it lasts, until the fists of depression knock me down again.

Lalala. I had no 115 (Prof. Valcarcel really reminds me of my dead lola that's why she's close to my heart. Haha.) and 151 today. Whee! Fifteen hours of sleep equals pounding headache and sore back.

I'm too lazy to enumerate everything that happened so I'm cutting this short. Talent Night has been fairly successful. Strike out "fairly". Overconfidence. Haha. Save for the bland spaghetti.

I'm going to see again Elmer tomorrow after a very long time. (So?) And I forgot to mention, I had a very, very quick conversation with Amboy, but the bitch was beside him. Shit. Nonetheless, kilig for me.

^_^

Mico, Me Ko

I'm starstruck yet again. Kilig! It seems Elmer is plummeting further down on my dream-the-impossible-dream list. Although a magical moment cannot be denied when he was mere inches from me and my grasping gaze on the OrgPres night. At least, on my part. What do you expect from one-sided relationships?

The Disappearance of Ivantot

After all the brutal kicking and violent jamming the CPU of my PC has received from me, it finally gave in and died on me. Indefinitely. Waah!

I really, really pray that my hard drive has not been damaged. I will throw tantrums to death if I cannot anymore recover some of my most precious collections: my music and porn files.

Life without Internet connection sucks big time. It's worse than the Lenten season when nothing is aired on TV but Lenten-y programs that will bore you comatose or delude you into repentance and resolution.

Sigh. My life is shitty. My life has never been shittier. My life is shit. Period.

Until then.

Storm Coming

"If you are expecting for responsible journalism, you are reading the wrong column."

"You want something explosive? I am dropping the bomb for you."

Tetris

My life is a Tetris game destined for failure. The blocks fall at level-nine speed, yet it's not the kind of action that I look for. There are occasional, cheap thrills here and there, but I end up boring myself comatose most of the time. I let the pieces pile onto their places, not so neatly, forming gaps and holes in between. That must explain the void I feel inside. The vacuity no amount of Elmer's Glue (Yucch, talagang siningit?) can fill.

I anticipate the moment when finally the screen flashes the words "Game Over". It may be hard to stomach so I just look away, close my eyes, and fidget as I wait. O God, just push the "Off" button! (Shet, ang drama!)

I don't know where to start. I don't know where I stand. I don't know where I'm headed to. I'm so lost... in your arms, baby, lost in your a-a-arms.

Consuelo de Bobo

Sagittarius

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Not every day can offer a major turning point in your life, so (do not even) try not to have huge expectations for where this day takes you. It is always a good idea (pointless) to have specific goals, but today you also need to be realistic about where things can go. You do not have to experience disappointment as long as you keep things logical and a bit more conservative than usual. This is not the day to reach for the stars; just take things as they come and enjoy the results of your efforts.

Of Horses and of Termites

I delude myself of happy days, of harmony, and of personal gain development. Jockeying an albino stallion named Elmer is one thing, and riding a horse (that I shall refer to with female pronouns hereafter) is another thing. *Background music plays* When the light is off, then it isn't on. What very profound lyrics, noh?

As I was saying, riding her is another thing, especially when she could go berserk the moment I mount and feel her broad back between my fagotty thighs (yay to doubly double entendre and, at that, bestiality), thereby dislodging and leaving me lying on muddy ground. Worse, she could tear me into pieces then chew me up. (Dear reader, I understand you're wringing your brain right now to decipher what I'm saying here so I'll cut it out with the cryptic-ness. Besides, my metaphors are lame.)

Some people have taken seriously what recently came out of my foul mouth, and it still worries me that they have. Or have I just taken them seriously that they have taken me seriously? This early on I would like to set the record straight: No, I don't want to. No, no, no. Don't phunk with my heart (and mind).

I hallucinate, and to a certain degree, I think it is healthy. It paradoxically keeps me sane. But you know, my mental health is not that sound. Be very afraid of the catastrophe that may would happen if I were to agree to your proposition than if I were to decline. I have megalomaniac tendencies, you know. I'm just joking. You really wouldn't want an insect that feeds on wood, much more, make it your queen, would you?

Chocobot

Bigyan kita ng piso
Bili kang Chocobot sa kanto
Buksan at kainin mo
Balat nito'y iyong itago
Basahin ang nakasulat
Baka lang ika'y mamulat

I'm just stirring up things here. Moving on, Zel did her palm-reading thing on me. She only made clear that things are unclear. (Thing, thing, thing. Yay to articulateness.)

It only made clear that things are unclear.
Hmm. Here's another one.
Truth is truth hurts.
And the one-liner that takes home the trophy.
Will you choose to love someone who completes you or someone you love completely?
Or something to that effect. Either way, WTF!

Whoever authored that line should drown in liquified cheese. It implies you have to choose between two, separate persons. Can't you choose someone who completes you and, at the same time, whom you love completely? And why am I making such a fuss? I, too, should drown in liquified cheese, but only after I watch You Are the One. Yes, Elmer (a.k.a. Elle Bee Doo) , you are the one.

Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga look good together, noh? Whatever happened to the rumor that she's gay? "Magpakatotoo ka, sister," as her softdrink commercial with Piolo Pascual said (Remember?) And, yeah, that goes to you, too, Piolo.

Myx, Magnet, Meatshop

Last Tuesday night was my chance to see Elle Bee Doo play with his band, a chance that I wasted. Fortunately, it's not the last one. All along until the concert, I thought I was going with Kate and Zel. Apparently, they changed plans as one just slept with a migraine (care of Therese and her 142-ish 129 exam) and the other one met up with an Atenean "friend" (stress on the ""). Reluctantly I left the concert venue upon knowing no one would accompany me there as I shriek my lungs out a la psycho-fan girl for Elle and Elle alone. Now, it's clear what I want to do in life, be his groupie.

About what instrument he plays, I'm still clueless. If it's the keyboard or the guitar, imagine the beautiful music we can make together. Haha. Kadire! I doubt he's the vocalist, but if he is, then I'll go doubly more gaga over him, devour him in all his pasty-skinned glory. *Gags* Maybe instead of "Elle Bee Doo" I should name him "Elmer" as in, you know, Elmer's Glue. He looks squeakily clean it surprised me that he smokes. Blah blah, enough about Pasty Boy.

I went to Magnet and watched for the second time Up dharma Down perform live. There was no Dia (whose thigh I could have squeezed whenever I got excited by Armi's melisma) with me. However, all was good. Who needs Vanness Wu anyway when Wesley Gonzales, Buwi (sp? I swear he looks like Kim Rae Won) of Parokya, and handful of other cuties (pathetic word choice) are in the same room to ogle at?

The show ended around 12AM. Kate, Joan, and Zel were at Meatshop (or is it The Meatshop?); I followed. Picture them pouring Red Horse into their tall glasses and me modestly sipping bottled water. Four hours later, you'd have three, tipsy, girls barfing and a loser-ly prude holding his bottle of mineral water.

Just a Thought

Let's play Thematic Apperception.

First picture.

A pensive Kuma Chang

Against the city-landscape view, he hugs his pillow-san and stares blankly into space.

"Life is a one-way street, ain't it? If you could paint it I'd draw myself going in the right direction. So I go all the way like I really, really know, but the truth is I'm only guessing.

"It's even dark in the daytime. It's not just good, it's great depression. When I was lost I even found myself looking in the gun's direction.

"And so I tried everything but suicide. But, yes, it's crossed my mind.

"Just a thought. But I'm fine."

Random,Trivial Joys for the Day

I entered my CWTS class just in time for the roll call. Ma'am finished checking the list and, my surname wasn't at all called. Again. I was sitting at the backmost row I could barely make out anything but mumblings from her, but I was sure she didn't call out "Rico". I approached her in front to have my name checked only to find out I wasn't in the class list yet. She must have misplaced the piece of paper she asked of me one of the previous meetings. She let me on her list write my name, the minute, green squares following it all blank and clean. Which means my previous absences and tardiness were disregarded.

Inside the Katipunan jeepney, I sat in front, near the opening. Thank God the driver was not smoking. The road between Malcolm and Romulo halls was not lit well so when I looked outside to my right, a very large and definite shadow of my head was hitting the sidewalk. As I was watching my own shadow I slowly bobbed my head, and the littlest of movements translated into sizable ones for the dark silhouette. It brought me back to my childhood, the powerless nights, my standing near the yellow candle on the lobby floor, my enormous head shadow covering the ceiling.

The smell of alimuom was in the Acad Oval air. Not too intense to actually nauseate and make me throw up whatever I've eaten for dinner. Just right, addictive, even. I wonder if marijuana smells the same.

^_^

On Back to Basics

Even before Christina Aguilera's latest offering Back to Basics is released in stores, I've heard comments showing little confidence in her recent musical venture. "[...] she keeps making music the market just simply doesn't respond to." (Did I even punctuate that sentence correctly?)

I have to admit I, too, have been worrying of disappointing sales for this album since her previous singles "Tilt Ya Head Back" and "Car Wash" having somewhat similar genre as Back to Basics' have charted unsuccessfully on Billboard. Then, I came across the following interview.

Newman (interviewer): The album is very ambitious. There is the sense that you were holding nothing back.

Aguilera: I totally went to bat every single day, I put my whole heart into it. I really opened myself up a lot and I appreciate and admire artists who are ambitious and are able to really take chances and think outside of their own comfort zone. I think the only time we really pave the way for future music and to encourage future artists to be their own individual selves and to express themselves to their fullest capacity is to encourage them to think outside of that safety box. And, yeah, it can feel naked sometimes, but I think it's for the good of music sometimes and for the good of being an artist, period.

"Singer Channels A Bygone Era On Double-Disc Set" (snippet), Melinda Newman, July 24, 2006, Billboard official website. (Isn't it obvious I didn't take up English 10?)

Which reminds me of Utada Hikaru and ULTRA BLUE, a very parallel case. Well, make or break, I will be behind Back to Basics', um, back. Yay to self-important genuine musical artistry! Needless to say I still hope this record would not turn out a commercial flop.

Ooh, only two weeks left for waiting and I can finally download the album. Talk about legitimate fan support.

August Serenade

If you disappeared or even if you turned into a cat or a caterpillar, at first I'd cry a lot, but maybe eventually it'd make a good story. So today, let's talk a little longer on the phone than usual. I feel a bit guilty so I'll be nicer to you.

If you and I became friends and you gave me advice like you knew what you were talking about, I'd nonchalantly use it and then throw it in the trash. So today, let's take a walk. At night, the streets are empty. The moonlight makes most things look prettier.

So today, let's talk a little longer on the phone than usual. I feel a bit guilty so I'll be nicer to you. So today, let's take a walk. At night, the streets are empty. The moonlight makes most things look prettier.

Ha, I got you! It's the English translation of "Hachigatsu no Serenade" by Suga Shikao. In prose form. To fool you that it's another one of my cryptic entries. Haha. Had I posted the translated lyrics in its original, verse form you might not have read it in its entirety (I'm assuming you did read it in its entirety.) I know 'cause that's what I do ("Oh, verses. Next.")

Simple, happy, and unpretentious. The song may not make any sense but at least it's simple, happy, and unpretentious. Or so my complex, sad, and pretentious self thinks. Whatever. It's an insert song to an episode of the anime "Honey and Clover," season one. Since "August" is in its title and today is the first day of August, I decided to post it here. Whee! *Coughs* Excuse me.

Honey and Clover OST album art (click to enLARGE)