Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Melancholy of Ivan Rico

As each day goes by, the thought of taking my own life grows more appealing. I'm pretty confident I'm still within the bounds of psychological normalcy, but my suicidal thoughts even freak me at times. If my depression perpetuates for long enough, I worry that I may reach a point where I end up realizing my morbid visions.

This depression is by far the most intense I've ever had to the point that it's already crippling me. Combine my incurable laziness and this brand of depression, and you'll have a worthless piece of existential chickenshit wallowing in self-pity and hopelessness.

It's exhausting enough dealing with my inner demons, and external, negative forces still add up to the weight of my burden. My back will break any minute. (Ay, how can that be; am I not spineless?) A broken back, a broken heart, broken everything.

Yes, I'm depressed. I want the world to care. I want the world to console me. Asa ka pa, gago! Then what?

1 comment:

Goddess Levs said...

argh.ivan, if only i know what's in your head...