What Christmas?

Let the ground crack open and swallow me wholly, until the last traces of me are thrown into oblivion.

I'm pretty much busted right now thanks to Ben Brian Kalaw. Killing him would be pointless (and impossible anyway) so in a distressing situation where I stand now, I'd just act how a mature grown-up would, that is, I'd resign to loathing BBK as long as the thought of my little secret being open to the last person whom I'd want to know about it elicits cringes that drain the life out of my frail body. *Inhales*

Since that stupid acquaintance party, it's more of awkwardness than of kilig I feel each time I see him (not BBK, of course). I might as well die of it (the awkwardness).
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It's as if I'm exactly in the same state I was one year ago. Depressed. Helpless. Pathetic. Listening to sad songs doesn't help alleviate the feeling. (Duh!)

I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache...

I just keep going round and round and round in circles, keep on tumbling down...

I went after what I wanted, and I never really got it, but it doesn't matter at all...

Why do all good things come to an end...
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I wish that I may break away from the shackles that keep me in the darkness, that I may still be able to see the light of New Year's Day.